Restful Nights: A Mother’s Guide to Sleep Training
As a parent, I understand firsthand the value of a good night’s sleep and the importance of establishing healthy sleep habits early on—for both my child and myself. Sleep training wasn’t an easy journey for my family, and looking back, I realize that I waited too long to start. It took my little one over a year to finally sleep through the night, but I learned invaluable lessons that I’m eager to share. If you’re navigating the world of sleep training, here are some tips and insights I’ve gathered along the way.
Let’s start with the basics..
Consistency is Key
This may sound obvious to some, but consistency is the cornerstone of successful sleep training. Establish a bedtime routine and stick to it every night. This could include activities like a warm bath, brushing teeth, bedtime story and cuddle time. Consistency helps signal to your child that it’s time to wind down and prepare for sleep.
Nothing underscores the importance of consistency quite like a vacation, where all of your routines are being thrown off. When our little one was 15 months old, we took a trip to visit family and and quickly learned the significance of feeding her dinner well before bedtime. It was during this trip that we encountered the unexpected challenge of changing a dirty diaper in the middle of the night—not once, but twice! After that, we promptly adjusted our routine to put an end to late night diaper changes.
Start Early
If I could offer one piece of advice to new parents, it would be to start sleep training early (around 4-6 months old). Waiting until your child is older can make the process more difficult, as they become more set in their ways. Babies are incredibly adaptable, and establishing good sleep habits from the beginning can save you a lot of sleepless nights in the long run.
It’s perfectly okay to indulge in contact naps with your baby, relishing those precious moments of closeness and bonding. However, it’s also essential to be mindful of establishing healthy sleep habits early on. While contact naps can provide comfort and security for both parent and child, starting sleep training at an appropriate age (around 4-6 months old) sets the foundation for independent sleep. Finding a balance between nurturing closeness and gradually encouraging self-soothing can help foster a positive sleep environment for your little one. So, cherish those cuddles, but also consider gently introducing sleep training techniques to ensure both you and your baby enjoy restful nights ahead.
Be Patient and Persistent
Sleep training can test your patience like nothing else. There were many nights when I felt like giving up, but I knew that I’d had to be consistent. It’s essential to remain patient and persistent, even when progress feels slow. Communicate with your partner to ensure that you both are providing affirmations when needed. Consistently implementing your chosen sleep training method will yield results over time.
Establish Healthy Sleep Associations
Help your child learn to fall asleep independently by establishing healthy sleep associations. Avoid relying on props like rocking or feeding to sleep, as this can create dependency. Instead, have your little one lie in the crib and encourage self-soothing techniques like gentle patting, soothing words or humming.
We made the mistake of letting contact sleeping go too long. The irresistible feeling of your baby peacefully falling asleep in your arms is hard to give up, but I promise you it’s important. Breaking the habit of your little one relying on things like rocking or feeding to sleep was one of the most challenging aspects of sleep training for us. It took time and patience, but eventually, my child learned to fall asleep independently.
Choose a Method That Works for You
There are various sleep training methods, from the Ferber method to the cry-it-out approach. Research different techniques and choose one that aligns with your parenting style and your child’s temperament. I tried various sleep training methods before finding one that felt right for us. Remember, what works for one family may not work for another, so trust your instincts and do what feels right for you and your child.
Some of the main sleep training methods are:
- Ferber Method: Also known as graduated extinction, this method involves gradually increasing the amount of time you wait before comforting your baby when they cry. The intervals typically start short and gradually increase, helping the baby learn to self-soothe.
- Cry It Out (Extinction) Method: This, in my opinion, is the toughest method but is said to be the quickest way to get your little one to sleep independently. In the CIO method, you simply allow your baby to cry for predetermined intervals without any intervention. Over time, the baby learns to self-soothe and fall asleep independently.
- Chair Method: In this approach, the parent sits in a chair next to the baby’s crib while the baby falls asleep. Each night, the chair is moved progressively farther from the crib until the baby can fall asleep without the parent in the room.
- Pick-Up-Put-Down Method: With this method, parents pick up their baby when they cry and soothe them until they are calm, then place them back in the crib. This process is repeated until the baby falls asleep on their own. This is said to take the longest but works best for those who have a harder time hearing their little one cry.
Avoid screen time at least an hour before bedtime, as the blue light suppresses the production of melatonin. Melatonin levels naturally rise in the evening, signaling to the body that it’s time to prepare for sleep. However, blue light exposure in the evening can disrupt this process, tricking the brain into thinking it’s still daytime and delaying the onset of sleep.
Our personal experience involved holding our little one in our arms until she drifted off to sleep, followed by gently laying her down in her crib. Initially, it was heartwarming to witness her peaceful fall asleep in our arms, but as time went on, it became increasingly challenging. We found ourselves pacing the house for hours, perfecting the art of rhythmic bouncing and soothing shushing in hopes of coaxing her to sleep. Yet, despite our efforts, she would often awaken in the night, unable to settle herself back to sleep without being held. By the time she reached 12 months old, multiple nighttime wake-ups had become the norm, leaving us feeling utterly exhausted and desperate for some uninterrupted sleep.
It didn’t take us long to learn that the Cry It Out (CIO) method wasn’t a great fit for us. While I have friends who attest to its effectiveness, we struggled with the concept of allowing our little one to cry for extended periods. After some trial and error, we discovered success with the Ferber method. Remarkably, within just four nights, our daughter learned to fall asleep independently and stay asleep through the night… until the challenges of teething, but that’s a story for another day.
Create a Sleep-Inducing Environment
Make sure your child’s sleep environment is conducive to a restful slumber. This means keeping the room dark, quiet, and at a comfortable temperature. Consider using white noise machines or blackout curtains to block out any distractions.
Our little one has a pretty dark sleeping area already so blackout curtains weren’t needed; however, I did invest in a white noise machine and created a comfortable setting in her crib in order to create an ideal sleep sanctuary for my little one.
We went through the chaos of trying to find the perfect sleep suit for our little one, testing out numerous suits until we discovered the ideal fit. With so many baby products available, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the options. Despite the trial and error—and the considerable investment—we finally found success with two particular items: the Baby Merlin’s Magic Sleepsuit and later, the RESTCLOUD Baby Sleep Bag. In the end, I wouldn’t bother with the fancy options. No amount of bells and whistles on a sleep suit will magically make your child sleep through the night. What truly matters is ensuring they have something warm and comfortable to sleep in. Every child is unique, and finding what works best for yours can be a rewarding yet sometimes challenging endeavor.
Be Mindful of Developmental Milestones
Developmental milestones can wreak havoc on sleep patterns. Teething, learning to crawl, and separation anxiety are just a few examples of challenges we faced along the way. Being flexible and adjusting our approach as needed was crucial in navigating these hurdles.
Just when we achieved the milestone of getting our little one to sleep through the night, the dreaded teething phase hit. And I mean it hit hard. All of her teeth decided to make an appearance all at once, causing her significant discomfort which lead to frequent awakenings during the night. It took us some time to realize the cause of her frequent wake ups, but a dose of pain reliever before bed proved to be the solution for us.
For more tips on teething, check out my teething essentials blog post!
Take Care of Yourself
Lastly, and perhaps the most important lesson I learned, is the importance of self-care. You may read that and scoff thinking, “Yeah, right, who has time for that?” I found myself in that same mindset until my mom intervened, insisting that I take a break.
Parenting is demanding. It’s essential to prioritize your own sleep and well-being so that you can better provide for your little one. Also, don’t be too hard on yourself! Its easy to get caught up in the madness, take it one day at a time. Enlist the help of your partner, family members, or friends to share the load and give yourself the opportunity to rest and recharge.
In conclusion, while sleep training may not always be easy, the benefits far outweigh the challenges. By starting early, being consistent, and choosing a method that works for your family, you can establish healthy sleep habits that will benefit everyone for years to come. And remember, you’re not alone—reach out to fellow parents for support and encouragement along the way. Sweet dreams!
